Good Good Good

My scan results were all that we wanted them to be. I am in remission and it's even possible that I could be in complete remission, if, when my cancer was detected, it was in fact stage 3, and not stage 4. This is something we will know only with time. If I go past 3 years with clean scans, I'm sitting pretty. If I go past 5 years, then I'm probably really home free.

So I'll be having blood tests and getting scanned in 6 months. He told me that getting this CT scan is equivalent to having 1000 xrays, so he doesn't want to scan me too often, but 6 months seems reasonable at this point... After that we'll probably be on an annual schedule.

He told me not to be discouraged about the fatigue, that it sometimes takes 2 months for it to go away completely, and I'm only 2 weeks from radiation completion.

So.....Yay! I'm gonna go out and live.

(The photo is from my celebratory dinner at Paulines. Cito is wearing the Ralph Lauren shirt I gave him for his bd. :) )

One year ago today

I was glancing through my flickr stream and noticed the date on this photo. Exactly one year ago. It's hard to imagine a time before...well...before, but here's the evidence.

I seem to have hit a wall on my energy level. It's discouraging, but I'm trying to react to it only by resting and eating well, and making myself take at least one short walk a day. After my Tuesday appointment with Dr. Liu I'll know if I should be worried about this slow return to vigor.

Robert hosted a family night dinner the other night, and I made a coconut layer cake from scratch for it. In the old days, I could have done that, prepared a whole dinner and cleaned my apartment and hosted the dinner all in the same day. As it is now, making the cake and walking the few blocks to Roberts pretty much shot my wad. Even worn out as I was, it was nice to have a social event to attend and to see everyone.

At one point soon after the kids had arrived, everyone was crowded in the kitchen. It was the usual family night pandemonium that I love. Robert was cooking, Holly and Emily were chatting, Cito was trying to do something on the kitchen computer and Della was wandering around the kitchen holding a rubber spatula and looking for something to get into. Rene wasn't arriving until dessert, so I was keeping an eye on Della, making sure she stayed away from the stove, etc. This involved talking to her constantly over the din, so she'd know that she was being observed. Suddenly, she walked up to me and without making a sound, took me by the hand and pulled me off the kitchen stool toward a clear patch of floor space. We stood there holding hands for a moment. I assumed she wanted me to lift her for a somersault off my shoulders, but then I noticed that she was moving her feet like a tap dancer and grinning at me. (I often tap dance for her to distract her from getting fussy, or just as something to do when we walk down the street.) This is the grin she had on her face:



I know some of my readers must think I'm irrationally fond of this little girl, but come on! How can you resist a child that does that for you? I would have had a lot harder time this past several months without her and Cito brightening the corners.

Scanticipation

This pic was taken a few weeks ago at Crissy Field during Cito's birthday party. Della likes the backward somersault. I think she will be a stunt person one day.

I had the post-radiation CT scan this morning. I have an appointment with Dr. Liu next Tuesday afternoon (6/8) to review the results.

I'm happy to report that the fatigue is lifting. My energy level isn't back to what it was before radiation, but it's getting there. I can take longer walks now when I go to lunch. Going to lunch was the one thing I managed to keep doing through the worst of the fatigue, although it was always to somewhere nearby. Last week I went shopping for a new scooter and over the weekend I even found enough sustained focused energy to work on some art.

I am on the waiting list for a Stella scooter which is expected to arrive at the dealers mid-June. Good thing too, since I took my 10-year old Italjet Torpedo 50cc in to get its brakes looked at, and the problem may be too expensive to fix, considering this scooter is no longer manufactured and that parts have to come from Italy and are always difficult to find. Ah well, she gave me 13,100 miles and the only damage to her came from getting knocked over when she was parked. Not bad for an initial investment of 3K.

Cat-like Existence Once Again

I have been suffering from post-radiation fatigue, and so have spent most of my time sitting in my armchair looking at these two, reading, watching TV and dozing.

I think the worst of it was late last week. Since Sunday, I've noticed that the heavy, sore, tired feeling arrives a little bit later each day.

Incredibly tedious and boring that this fatigue takes so long to lift, but it is lifting and that's encouraging, and it's still nowhere near as bad as how I felt from chemo.

Looking forward to doing some serious Spring cleaning and shopping for a new motor scooter when I am over this.

Radiation - DONE

Nuff said.

Happy Mother's Day

Here's a photo of my mother and me, taken in June, 1969 when we were both in the Fresno Community Theater production of "Gypsy".

Coincidentally, the movie "Gypsy" is being broadcast on Turner Classic Movies as I type this.

The radiation fatigue has really gotten bad in the last couple of days. These days I wake up tired and am pretty done in shortly after lunch. I don't know if it's because the booster treatments started last week or whether it's just the cumulative effect of all of the treatments so far. It's still not as bad as the chemo ugh, but it's rather debilitating.

Only five more treatments! Looking forward to having more energy again. I need to keep up with Cito and Della, after all.

Rounding Third

Pardon the sports metaphor. As of today, I'm 25 radiation treatments down and 7 to go. I saw Dr. Gillis today and she was very pleased at how well my skin is doing. Starting tomorrow, the rest of my treatments will be "booster" treatments, meaning the beam will be less widely focused and instead center specifically on the area where the formerly swollen-from-cancer lymph node is. This means my neck and upper chest may start to experience sunburn-like symptoms a week from now, since there is frequently about that much delay between the end of radiation treatment and that reaction. And then of course, I can expect the same a week later when the rest of my upper right torso has been rested from treatment for a week. The area on my back is now behaving like sunburn, but she thought it looked really good, considering, and in fact looked better than last week. Treatment ends a week from Friday. Then I get a few weeks to recover. Then I have a CT scan for followup (based on what she can palpate, it should only show good news, but I'll have a followup appointment with Dr. Gillis, just the same). Then I have the usual battery of blood tests and see my regular oncologist, Dr. Liu. At that point, assuming everything looks good, and I expect it to, I guess I live my life as best and as long as I can, monitoring everything every few months. I can't help thinking of a TV series from the mid-sixties starring Ben Gazzara, called "Run For Your Life".

The weekend was somewhat social and active for me considering my currently sluggish state. I dined with a friend visiting from Chicago on Friday, and on Sunday rode my scooter all the way over the Divisadero hill, then through the Presidio to Crissy Field for Cito's 5th birthday party. What a scene. A gorgeous sunny day on grass near the beach with the GG Bridge right there, and just about every single kid in Cito's preschool class and their parents and dogs, and the rest of us...family members and their dogs, the friends from the pre-marriage, pre-children days and our dogs. Very big, very busy, very fun. I don't know how Holly and Rene have the energy to pull such things off, but I'm glad they do.

The photo was taken yesterday. I had lunch with Della and Rene and Rene's mother Julie. Della can say her own name now in addition to a few other words, and seems to me to be very close to really speaking. She makes a real effort to repeat things that are said to her. And as always, her default attitude is "DELIGHTED". She's a real pleasure to be around.