Oh the places you'll go!

As most of this blog's readers know by now, on Oct 9, I went to the ER after weeks of being listless and rather fuzzy in the brain. That last week before the 9th, my left arm and hand were weak and difficult to control and I was starting to lose urinary continence (!!)

At the ER, they did a CT scan of my head and discovered there were two masses in my brain, one of which they deemed life-threatening, and so I was sent to Redwood City, where they perform all of their neurosurgeries, and that one mass was removed. I stayed in Redwood City for almost a week. A few days after the first surgery, the surgeon performed a procedure to the other mass. He could only remove part of it, as it's attached to an important part of the brain (like where my left arm controls are). I was finally moved to a hospital room in SF last Wednesday, so my friends didn't have to travel so far to see me. The next day, the oncologists got the lab report that told them the masses in my brain weren't some rogue bacteria or fungus as they had been trying to do cultures for; it was the cancer. However, that same day of imparting rather grim news, they sent me home, my incontinence was cured, and I got to take a shower in my own apartment. A mixed day. Having the masses be caused by the cancer makes more sense to me anyway.

Despite the severity of these procedures, having them done not only saved my life, but brought me back to my senses, truly. I feel better than I've felt in months, including having a lot of energy. I hate not having my left arm in full use, but I plug on doing what I can with it. Fortunately, I am dexterous enough with my right hand to give my cat her twice daily insulin injections using that hand only. She indulges me in taking her pill from one hand too. I hired a housekeeper who will be coming every week, which will be lovely. Kevin, who returned from several years in Japan last month, helps me with practical things on almost a daily basis, and he and I are going to work on purging my apartment of junk over the next few weeks.

This is the plan: I rest and heal, and in a few weeks, I'll start radiation treatment on the brain. I'll lose all my head hair (permanently) and brain radiation is said to be the most fatiguing kind, but if that second mass can be shrunken, I can get all my left side control back. I'm glad I have all my caps from chemo because my surgery scars are straight out of Frankentein, and soon I'll be a skinhead baldy and need them for warmth.

I am not devastated by this new development since we all knew the merkel cell cancer would work more mischief eventually. I only cry when I reflect on how lucky I am in my family of friends who have all helped me so much, and have done whatever they could to make me comfortable and safe. I think I must have done something right in my life to have so many stalwarts around me, and that's very precious to me.

I probably won't blog very frequently at first, since I hate typing with only one hand, but I'll try to keep it up to date with important news.