Heavyweight Championship Round 4 *ding*

I left my camera somewhere (I think at the Garcias at Thanksgiving), so I had to dig around in my photo collection to find something to post with this entry. I took this picture on my way to work one morning last Spring.

Getting ready for round 4. First infusion tomorrow afternoon. Hoping I'll feel well enough tomorrow evening to go to the opening for René's new show at Project One.

Thanksgiving was fun and it was just what I wanted from the holiday and the gathering, but I wasn't exactly a live wire. Maybe the pie was a dish too far and I should have stuck to just making the cranberry dishes. It turned out well, but I was worn out by the time I got to the Garcias. Della and Cito's energy soon revived me enough to participate socially, in short spurts. The company was mellow and lovely and we had two adorable dogs to entertain and divert us as well: Holly's father's dog, Rocky, an Australian Shepherd, and René's sister's dog, Crystal, a long-haired blue-eyed dachshund. I kept having to take little chair naps during the day and evening. There were 10 of us for dinner. It seemed we had just the right number of dishes and most importantly, the turkey (cook: Holly) was moist and the gravy (cook: Robert) was delicious. After the side dishes came out of the oven, I made James Beard's cream biscuits (a really easy recipe that I highly recommend to anyone needing to make a quantity of biscuits), and I'm proud to say that Cito declared my biscuits and my smooth cranberry jelly his favorite parts of the meal. (Never mind that for Cito, "favorite" has a fairly flexible meaning.) I have to say my favorite food that night was the rumaki that René's sister Cathy made for cocktail hour. I'm just a sucker for bacon. Mindful of my need to eat small portions, but determined to get all my Thanksgiving food, I starved myself a little in the morning, sticking to toast and a latté. The strategy seems to have worked. I was ravenous by the time dinner was served, but I was able to have a full plate with little portions of everything, and so was quite content. I was sated, but un-bloated when I returned home on my scooter through empty city streets.

Friday, I loafed. Saturday I got ambitious and walked to the discount fabric store on Mission and bought 15 yards of fabric to make new roman blinds for my bay window and a new bed covering. I really want to get the blinds done soon because I want them up before I install my Christmas tree on the table in the window. I decided that for once, I didn't mind the bother of having my own tree and thought it would help me keep the season's cheer, especially since Christmas week is an infusion week. Robert isn't having a tree this year, so I can take advantage of his vast collection of lights and ornaments.

Sunday, I cleaned the apartment. As much as I dislike chores, it gives me pleasure that I'm still able to tend to household duties.

Yesterday, Robert and I went to the standard pre-chemo oncology appointment together. When I reported the nausea I had this time and that the neuropathy was about the same as last time, and that there are some permanently unreceptive nerve endings in my left foot, Dr. Liu offered me the option of taking a break from chemo, or expanding the cycle so that there are more weeks between infusions. He wants me to have maximum quality of life, even during chemo. I appreciate his making the offer, but I feel like I've girded my loins for this fight, and I want to plow through and get it over on schedule (mid-January). We know the chemo is working to an appreciable extent; the tumor has shrunk so that it's hardly visible or palpable anymore . Despite my spells of nausea and the neuropathy and fatigue, my body is tolerating the poisoning fairly well. I've only lost 4 pounds since starting chemo, and that could be due to my daily walks as much as to eating lighter. My HIV has continued to be managed by the antiviral drugs. I have an undetectable viral load and a high CD4 count. So, for now, my attitude is "damn the torpedos, full speed ahead". I'm no sissy when it comes to this crap. I earned my stripes with HIV.

Today I walked to Bi-Rite to buy all the little delicacies I like to have from there during the ugh time. The weather is turning. We still have clear blue skies, but I find I have to walk on the sunny side of the street to keep from feeling chilly during my walks. I don't think I've ever dreaded Winter so much or hoped so much for an early Spring.