Happy Thanksgiving

I haven't been blogging because my friend for almost 40 years, Meg, is visiting from Seattle. We've just been walking around the neighborhood and visiting with the Garcias, and mostly hanging here in my apartment watching TV and chatting. Tomorrow we'll be dining at Da Flora with the Bufords who are coming up from Santa Barbara tomorrow.

Overall, my health is good. Most of the feeling in my foot has come back. I have some joint pain and I still suffer from bloating. I find that now I have to keep to the several small meals regimen even when I'm not feeling the full effects of the chemo. I tried to eat like a normal person on Sunday and paid bitterly for it that night. Not fun. My energy level has been pretty good, despite these minor ills, and I'm all ready for Thanksgiving. My hair continues to thin, but at a fairly slow rate. Thanks to a visit from Vicky on Saturday, I have even more hand-made headgear to keep my poor plucked pate warm.

My assigned dishes for the holiday at the Garcias are two kinds of cranberries: an orange-ginger-cranberry relish and the traditional smooth jelly kind that I've been making for Thanksgiving ever since I saw Martha Stewart do it on her TV show. I'll also be making a "mincemeat" pie (it doesn't have meat or any of that nasty glacé fruit that most mincemeat recipes have - it's just apples and dried fruits). It's going to be hard to restrain my appetite, since Thanksgiving fare is some of my favorite food, but I don't wish to visit the vomitorium again, so I'm certain I'll be able to avoid gluttony.

Have a lovely holiday, Gentle Reader. I probably won't post again until the weekend.

Jackhammers and Rain

Had to go get my blood drawn this morning in order to determine if I need to continue the dreaded neupogen shots. I passed again. No more shots until next round. My body really seems to respond to human growth factor.

I knew rain was in the forecast, but I didn't think jackhammers were. They started at about 8 AM and continued for 2 hours. OY! I chugged down my latté grumpily and finally went down and kicked the scooter. The skies were dry at that time, but I had my rain suit in a plastic bag with me. Sure enough, by the time I left Kaiser, it was raining and raining hard. Ah well, it felt kind of nice and normal and "sturdy" to be well enough to ride my scooter in the rain.

On the way home, I stopped and scooped Robert's catbox (he's in Mexico) and shoved a half a pepcid down his cat Elroy's throat.

I'm home again, and dry again, and I intend to stay in for the rest of the day. Now I can just look out and enjoy the rain.

Out from under

Zipedee doo dah.

Woke up today feeling great after a solid night's sleep. No nausea at all this morning, and my neuropathy is even starting to subside. I felt well enough to make a major grocery shopping outing on foot after lunch today, carrying home about 30 lbs of groceries. A good workout.

There are many reasons I love living in my apartment, but here are some major ones. If I exit my apartment building and look left, I see this:



If I cross the street and look the other way, I see this (if I'd angled it correctly, you'd be able to see the bay and the Oakland hills):



And if I take a few steps east, stepping into the alley that my bay window looks out on, and turn around, I see this:



(Note my scooter on the right...a hardy survivor like myself. 10 years old and 13K miles on it. Pretty unusual for a 2-stroke engine. Also note that no one has eradicated the tagging from last week yet.)

Something about SF's topography makes me very happy. Maybe it's because I grew up looking at a flat horizon line all the time.

Still keeping a pretty low profile tomorrow, but now I'm confident that I'll be feeling really good for Meg's visit when she arrives on Saturday.

The miracle of the sun (and Groucho)

Today didn't start well. Woke up at 5 and threw up, and was in and out of the bathroom for the next hour or so. Finally, I fell back asleep for a couple of hours and woke up feeling better, although still a little nauseous. I got up and got dressed and had a banana and some toast. These were sitting a little uneasily, but I decided to get out and take a walk. It is sunny and clear and about 62 here, and I'd been cooped up for two days.

I listened to my iPod as I walked toward Castro and Market. One of the inevitable results of feeling so unwell physically is that my spirits tend to follow, despite my best efforts at staying cheerful. And so it was today. I slogged along with my numb left foot, feeling pretty sorry for myself, and then suddenly, I realized I was smiling because I was listening to Groucho Marx singing "Lydia the Tattooed Lady" and I had just stepped into a beautiful warm spot of sunshine, and somehow I felt some weight lifted from my shoulders. I ended up walking for about an hour. After I got home, I thawed some soup donated by one of the kindly elves during my first chemo round and had it with some saltines, and now I feel much more settled in the tummy and the heart. I'm very tired now, but I can feel the toxins draining out.

Things are looking up.

the downside of the cycle

The last couple of days, I've felt pretty yucky. Yesterday, I could hardly move, I was so tired, although I managed to drop off and pick up my laundry as my major accomplishments. I have that familiar "toxified" feeling in spades: bloated, feeling the neuropathy in my feet more, can't really taste food.

Hoping to sleep through a lot of it, I took my pills and went to bed early last night, but woke up several times in the night, and started out the morning by having the dry heaves for a good spell. I have had something to eat since, and no more heaving. I'm spending the day resting, and just waiting for this part of the cycle to end.

I have everything I need, so don't worry. If you call, don't expect me to be very chatty. Sorry, that's just how it is until I get through this part.

Another gorgeous day in the Castro

I'm trying to take longer walks during these post-chemo days to try to keep the neuropathy at bay. The weather sure made it easier today. It felt lovely walking (slowly) in the sunshine around the neighborhood.

So far, I have little bits of neuropathy on both feet, a little bloating, and a lot of tiredness. I'm eating well and no nausea whatsoever. Classic Sunday after chemo: I wake up at 7, do a bunch of chores, take a walk, and I'm done in by 2. Oh well, I have food and plenty to watch and read, and cats that prefer me immobile. More later.

Halfway Home

Round 3 is finished. No major side effects yet, though I can feel the beginnings of neuropathy, and I think my hair is falling out a little faster now.

Vandi was my buddy today, and it was great to see her. We haven't really sat and talked, just the two of us, for years. It was great to catch up.

I'm assuming the fatigue/ugh/toxic feeling will start tomorrow afternoon or evening. I'm all stocked up and ready for it.

Chemo Round 3 Day 2

The Kaiser nursing staff are still getting used to the new system, so once again, my visit took about 45 minutes longer than it should have, but I had my chemo buddy Mike Wade to chat with so it hardly mattered. We stopped by the Garcias briefly on the way home and went with René to pick Cito up at preschool.

I still feel pretty good. I took a walk to Mission Street today before I had lunch. I browsed in Discount Fabrics, but didn't purchase anything.

Not much to report, but there you have it.

I wanted to show that I still have hair all over my head. It's just a lot thinner. I wear caps most of the time when I'm out to keep my head warm, and to avoid having my hair fall onto my plate at a restaurant or on my hostess as I'm hugging her hello, or whatever.

Here We Go Again: Round 3 Day 1

I started out the day with a nice long walk. We're still having rather beautiful weather. I went to Cliff's variety to buy some paint brushes, and then to Bi-Rite to buy some delicacies for the next few days of mini-meals.

Dinah was my chemo buddy today. She took this photo. I wish I could say I was consciously sticking my belly out like that. The only excuse I can offer is that the chemo loungers don't exactly promote good posture. :) Dinah brought along the collected stories of Saki, and read 3 or 4 of them aloud to me as I infused. What a great writer. I'm digging out my own copy of his collected stories and putting it on my chair-side table.

Today's visit took an extra long time because Kaiser went live with a new software system today, and there were the usual glitches and confusion. However, the infusion itself went smoothly. I was the last patient to leave today. I feel fine so far.

Preventative Della-seen

I felt I needed a good fix of Della before recommencing chemo tomorrow, so I scootered over to the Garcias this afternoon. She was still asleep when I got there, so I got to enjoy the pure calm joy of holding a sleeping baby for a long time. She eventually woke up and displayed her usual effervescence. I guess one of the reasons I enjoy her company so much is that her default mood is DELIGHTED. She really seems to enjoy life and the world around her and other people. It is particularly sweet to see how she and Cito both light up when they see each other. I know that kind of sibling affection won't last forever, but it sure is heartwarming to see now.

UPDATE ON TAGGERS: I got a call from the police officer assigned to the school (isn't it awful that a middle school should have its own dedicated officer?) this morning. He was filling out his report and mentioned that the kids might be charged with a felony (I guess because the tags are gang-related). I didn't feel very good about that, and after I hung up I wished I hadn't been such a cranky old man about it, despite how vehemently I abominate tagging. He called back a little while later and told me that he and his sergeant had decided to charge them with misdemeanors and get them into a tagging diversion program. I felt much better about that. They are only 6th graders, after all. He also clarified that the father of one of those kids is an EX gang member, and so, it is to be hoped, the father will be grateful that a citizen tried to help stop his son from going further down that path.

The officer needed me to sign citizens arrest forms, and came by the apartment with the forms. Mon dieu. One always hopes a man in uniform entering one's domicile will look like he did, but it almost never happens. Shutup. Nothing happened. My life isn't a porno. But if I were casting one....

One's Civic Duty

This is a photograph I took from my apartment window this afternoon. These fine examples of middle school students apparently aspire to be gang members, so they've started tagging things. I hate tagging SO much, I took photos of the little a--holes and walked them over to the middle school and handed them over to the principal and guidance counselor. They recognized both kids instantly. They both come from gang families, apparently, so if I'm shot while sitting in my window, there's a clue.

This morning I went to my oncologist appointment and had my blood drawn. Dr. Liu was a little concerned about the neuropathy I had in my left foot after the last round, so he wants me to monitor and report on that closely as it might affect how many rounds of chemo we do. He's concerned about permanent nerve damage. I'm going to take B-complex vitamins to help counteract the effect of the chemo on the nerve cells. The original tumor under my right arm has remained shrunken, and despite the twinges I feel on my left side when I have the chemo infusions, neither he nor I can palpate a swollen node there. This is also something to monitor, because if the cancer has spread to other nodes, post-chemo radiation won't be an option.

I feel pretty good these days. I had a busy weekend. I had dinner at Cheryl and Laura's with Robert and Emily on Saturday night. Yesterday morning I toured the Avedon exhibit at SFMOMA with Michael and Anthony, and last night Robert and I had dinner with the Underwoods in Foster City.

One more full day of feeling good before I start infusions again on Wednesday.

Mangiamo Da Flora

No health news to report. The neuropathy is completely gone. I'm mostly bloat-free. Only the fatigue continues and it comes in waves. I've been running various errands and performing various chores, taking advantage of both my energy level and the weather (we have rain in the forecast soon). I'm not bursting with energy, but I have my moments, and I know to use them wisely. Today I went grocery shopping and tomorrow I'm going to make some oxtail soup to save up for next chemo cycle. (This is not a plea for more food. I still have a mostly full freezer. :) )

Last night Robert took me to Da Flora. We couldn't believe the parking karma we had in finding a space on the street one block away. As always, the food was delicious. I had a shredded radicchio salad with bacon and shaved egg, and Robert had the caesar. We both had the same entrée. Flora and Mary Beth had just returned from a trip to Venice and Budapest and they brought back some real Hungarian paprika, which Jen, the chef, used in a delicious pork paprakash that she served with crème fraiche gnocchi. Yummy. We were good and skipped dessert, which takes great restraint because MB is such a gifted pastry chef.

I was tired, but full and happy when Robert dropped me home. Today I had enough energy to go grocery shopping and pick up Violet's prescription inhaler at Walgreens and work on some art. Otherwise I was very lazy. Lets just say Junie got a lot of lap time.

No news is good news

I haven't been posting the last couple of days because I've been feeling fine. I'm trying to enjoy these days before the next chemo round starts in a week. Glorious weather is helping me enjoy them even more.

It was a fun, if quiet, weekend. On Saturday, I finished a piece I've been working on for a long time and then had dinner at Robert's house with Kevin and him. It was fun to see the neighborhood celebrating Halloween in a low-key uncongested way. On Sunday, I got very ambitious with housecleaning all day, and then helped celebrate René's mother's Julie's birthday by joining the Garcias for dinner at The Matterhorn (a swiss fondue restaurant on Van Ness) .

Yesterday, I suffered for my ambition the day before by waking up with extreme fatigue, and took it easy for most of the day. I'm going to have to remember to parcel out my energy, even when I'm feeling well.

Today I started a new piece and interrupted its progress briefly to have lunch with Della, René and Julie. Before we went to lunch, Della tried once again to make friends with Junie (another child in the world who will think that a cat goes "hssssss" rather than "meow").

Next chemo round starts 11/11. I will try to post between now and then.